This week I was reminded about something about kids. If you’re going to lie to a two-year old, you’d better make it good. No half-arsed excuses that don’t stand up to the sensible test. They’ll be straight on to you.
I’d promised Munchkin I’d take her to the zoo, one of her regular haunts. But plans changed and I wanted to delay it by a day. So I thought it would be better to blame the zoo than fess up to just changing plans. She has high expectations of Marsie. Much easier to blame someone else.
So I arrived to pick her up and told her the zoo was closed today.
Look of great consternation.
Why the zoo closed, Marmar?
This is toddler sign language for ‘wtf’.
Of course she was going to ask that, but I wasn’t prepared with a good answer.
Umm, there was a flood and they had to clean it up.
With water. Too much water.
Water? (Munchkin is very much into repeating words at the moment.) What a stupid reason. She was onto me.
Pause for thinking.
They’ve making a new house for the tigers.
And they had to clean out the old one. …With water.
Why they close the zoo, Marmar?
Clearly I wasn’t convincing. She asked that same question a hundred and seventeen times over the next hour, give or take six, trying to work it all out in her little brain. There were obviously some bits not gelling. Little wonder.
So in future if I stretch the truth, I’ll have to make sure I’ve got a legitimate excuse worked out that will stand up to a prolonged questioning. Good I’m not a criminal. I’d never stand up to interrogations.
We got to the zoo the next day, to a running commentary about how it was open today, not yesterday, because of all that water and the tigers moving house.