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Today, in order to investigate and understand the vagaries of the modern social phenomenon of sexting – and in honour of my 30th wedding anniversary – I have decided to flash at my phone and send my long-suffering hubbie an inappropriate selfie. Just to see what happens and for investigative purposes only. Happy anniversary, darling!

I haven’t quite decided if I should do one running around the backyard with a t-shirt over my head soccer-style or something a little more demure, perhaps with black lingerie somehow involved. The former would perhaps have the advantage of likely being blurred from my (very fast) running and the latter would have the advantage of dim and flattering lighting. Or maybe a Snapchat pic with a puppy dog face and those long, droopy ears?

Of course, this could go badly. When his phone pings, he’ll get a shock. He’ll be expecting a wine marketing email or similar, so he could panic when he sees it’s something else altogether. (Or else, he might not have his glasses on and have trouble working out what that weird little image on his screen actually is.) In his panic he might accidently press wrong buttons (we do that a lot) and forward it somewhere instead of make it bigger. Good thing he’s not connected to all things social media, although he does have a little Golf Boys group set up on Viber. That could be awkward.

But just in case, I will be there when he deletes the image permanently, after an appropriate timeslot for viewing. We’ve been married 30 years, sure, and I do trust this man, but you never can never be too careful. Tides turn and now there’s this whole other new social phenomenon called ‘revenge porn’. Which now can get people sent to gaol. Really, folks – just don’t leave yourselves so exposed (literally). That’ll fix it. Especially if you’re a teenager because that’s a whole new kettle of fish and even more ridiculously dangerous, and illegal too.

It’s not just the young and silly who are taking up this practice with gay abandon, and some of them don’t even learn their lessons. Take the embattled and clearly stupid Anthony Weiner (yep, it’s actually Weiner!)   who got caught out again, and now has a Wikipedia entry devoted entirely to his sexting mishaps. Seriously? And you want people to let you govern their city?

Really I find these sexting practices quite bizarre, and tremendously foolhardy. And of course you can’t even rely on something like Snapchap with its instantly melting image-technology to keep you safe from future regret, ridiculing and potential blackmail, because everyone knows you can just take a screenshot. Even me.

No. I shall have to be way more careful than that. And much more discerning with my selected audience.

I’ll let you know how this experiment goes.

Happy anniversary, darling!!!

To be continued …